A house is not a home...

It's been quiet on this neck of the woods! Well, not really... it's actually been quite busy. Between drama practices, baseball practices, performances, & games, my life has been on a rigid schedule. Summer's here, and Isaiah played his last game tonight. I don't know what to do with mysef tomorrow! No voice lessons, no horseback riding lessons, no games, no practices, no performances.... WOW. It's really summer!

With all that said, something bugging me in my spirit. I just had my parents over for dinner, and they were talking about church... about how nice our building's going to be, but one of them said something about it being nice but there's no relationships happening. Another WOW.

Now, don't get me wrong. There's always 2 sides to a story, but for someone to say that, it means that they are yearning for connection. It obviously bugs them, but maybe they don't know how to connect with others. Maybe other people may have been trying to connect with them but they've been unresponsive. Whatever the case may be, it should not be a comment that will get "shoved under the rug".

For most people, building relationships come naturally. To others, it takes a conscious effort. What do you do to build relationships with others? I am the type of person that builds relationships around work. If we have a common purpose, we'll have a reason to get together. Then, relationship will start building, and before you know it, we're best friends.

I'm blessed to have great friends, but nothing comes close to Jesus Christ. Through it all, work or no work, productive or not, success or failure, He's my only TRUE friend. Then my husband and kids. I choose to build my house on Him so that it can become a home.

Learning to be Peacemakers

(this entry is not related to previous entry)
How do we deal with conflict?

Conflict is inevitable. The way we deal with conflict determines how we grow or regress as Christians.

Here are 3 ways to deal with conflict:
1) Escaping: running away, denying it, or blaming someone else are ways to escape conflict.
2) Attacking: putting down, gossiping, and fighting
3) Working it out: the first 2 ways are done privately and personally

1.  Overlooking offense: the difference with overlooking an offense and denying it is FORGIVENESS. When we deny conflict, we are acting like it doesn't exist. When we overlook it, we are choosing to forgive. Prov 12:16, 17:14, 19:11; Col 3:13, 1 Pet 4:8)
2. Talking-it-out: Sometimes, this may include confessing. Sometimes, it may mean confronting in a kind and respectful way. Talk together, not at each other. (Matt 5:23-24, 18:15; Prv 28:13, Gal 6:1-3)
3.  Getting help: when the first 2 ways don't work, it may be necessary to get another party involved.
• Get help to know what to say. Check your tone, your words, and your demeanor. (Prov 15:1, Eph 4:29)
• Get help to talk together.Another party maybe necessary when talking on your own doesn't lead to a resolution. The party involved is there only to "mediate" the conversation but not to make the decision for the parties involved. (Matt 18:16)
• Get help to decide. If talking with each other or mediation doesn't work, you may need to get someone else to make the resolution for you. Get the help of a parent, teacher, or pastor. (1 Cor 6:1-8, Ex. 18:13-27)

(adopted from The Young Peace Maker by Corlette Sande)

We did a role play about a conflict, and I asked my kids to be 'dad' & 'mom'. They chose the conflict over money, I guess because they've heard it more than the other conflicts we've had (yikes!) However, one thing they noted was the way we argued. They pointed out that we yell and cry (well, maybe I yell and cry LOL!) I confessed to them that we are still learning how to handle conflict too, but I also pointed out that we haven't attacked nor have we called it quits.


It's important for our kids to see how we are not only teaching them these things because we want them to do them. They need to see that we are walking out our faith too because bottom line is that we are all responsible for our own growth and relationship with Christ.


"Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone." Romans 12:18

Don't wake me up, I'm DREAMIN'!

As if my eyes were wide open, the events of the last 5 years flashed in front of me. 2005 was the best year in real estate, and I was able to join in on the party. It was only the year before that I had quit my full-time job from a major telecommunications compnay so I can come home and raise my kids. God was so gracious that I was able to manage both a business and homeschool a 2nd grader. Yet inspite of the good things that are happening, a desire within me stirs. I desire to be free from the stress that tied me down. I was on the phone almost all day, shopping for loans or trying to make sure the lender received all the conditions for my files to close. I felt as though my child taught herself because I could barely get through 30 minutes without having to be on the phone.

It was about this time that I read Robert Kiyosaki's book, Rich Dad, Poor Dad, and I loved the way he differentiated between a business owner and a self-employed individual. I was self-employed, and I wanted freedom. Out of my desire to be free up my time at home, I needed to become a businesses owner. I asked God to enlarge my tent, like He did for Jabez.

My husband and I bought several properties to rent. The plan is to have enough rental properties to make $10,000 in passive income. We started with homes because they were easier to acquire, but eventually, we were going to move into apartment complexes. We would manage them ourselves, with my husband as my handyman. He recalls being a young child collecting cans to put towards owning an apartment complex. We were a united team: I handled the paperwork, and he took care of the physical work.

We went back to the Philippines in December 2005 and stayed there for 6 weeks! Wow! No one took those kinds of vacations! We went to Boracay, visited relatives whom I haven't seen in 15 years, and enjoyed the Christmas and New Year's celebration! If you haven't been to the Philippines, you're missing out! After coming back in January 2006, the real estate market has softened. I was still able to make lots of money that year but not as much as before. I was still thankful, however, because I still made more than what I would have made if I had stayed in the corporate world.

2007 was the worst year of my life. How it turned so quick was not my fault. I was just a victim of the market. My husband got laid off late 2006. In 2007, I made a mere $15,000.

Ouch. My dreams have crashed right in front of my eyes. There were pieces all over the ground like shattered glass, but I didn't have enough strength to muster picking them all up and piecing them together. God could've spared me, but He didn't. There are still many in the industry who are able to support their families. But that doesn't include me.

I needed strength; I needed to heal. How can I still be with my kids without this business? I examined my heart, because I knew that pride came before destruction. I'm clear there. What was it, then, Lord? Why did this happen to us? We didn't live lavishly or foolishly. We tithed! You promised, Lord! Remember... Malachi 3:10?

My dream has now turned into a nightmare.

(to be continued...)

iParent - is there an app for that?

My church, Liberty Christian Center, is in the middle of a family series. I finally was able to get into a service with my husband, and last Sunday's preaching was about parenting. The pastor said something to the extent of parenting being an easy task. Tthough to some degree, I understand what he meant, I don't fullly agree with his statement.

Let's see, maybe it should've been said like this: if you're prepared, parenting is an easy task!

Now, I agree.

The problem with the earlier statement is that most people are NOT ready nor do they desire to be ready. I had my first child when I was 19 (so I was definitely NOT ready!). Thank God for His mercies because He put people in my life who cared enough to talk to me about parenting. Here's the best piece of parenting advice that I received:

"Parenting is NOT about fighting fires. It's preventing them."

Got it. Since then, I've desired to be ahead of my kids' developmental and spiritual stage. I read books, articles... you name it. Anything I can get my hands on, I read. The Bible is clear:

"You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. These words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand and they shall be as frontals on your forehead. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates. Then it shall come about when the LORD your God brings you into the land which He swore to your fathers, Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, to give you, great and splendid cities which you did not build, and houses full of all good things which you did not fill, and hewn cisterns which you did not dig, vineyards and olive trees which you did not plant, and you eat and are satisfied, then watch yourself, that you do not forget the LORD who brought you from the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery." Deut 6:5-12

#1: The GOAL: Love the Lord your God. It's important that you believe what you're teaching. Otherwise, it won't work.

#2: HOW: teach them, talk to them when you sit, when you walk, when you lie, and when you rise up. Know His Word like the back of your hand and have His Word in your mind. Have verses posted around your house (ok, not freakily!) and help your children memorize them and apply them in their daily lives. Discuss with them your revelations and how you are also walking with God.

#3: The PROMISE: your family will receive good things that you don't deserve and didn't work for! Sounds like a deal to me!

#4: WARNING: Lose sight of the goal and you'll get into trouble. It's all about LOVING Him.


iParent... there IS an app for that!