Learning to be Peacemakers

(this entry is not related to previous entry)
How do we deal with conflict?

Conflict is inevitable. The way we deal with conflict determines how we grow or regress as Christians.

Here are 3 ways to deal with conflict:
1) Escaping: running away, denying it, or blaming someone else are ways to escape conflict.
2) Attacking: putting down, gossiping, and fighting
3) Working it out: the first 2 ways are done privately and personally

1.  Overlooking offense: the difference with overlooking an offense and denying it is FORGIVENESS. When we deny conflict, we are acting like it doesn't exist. When we overlook it, we are choosing to forgive. Prov 12:16, 17:14, 19:11; Col 3:13, 1 Pet 4:8)
2. Talking-it-out: Sometimes, this may include confessing. Sometimes, it may mean confronting in a kind and respectful way. Talk together, not at each other. (Matt 5:23-24, 18:15; Prv 28:13, Gal 6:1-3)
3.  Getting help: when the first 2 ways don't work, it may be necessary to get another party involved.
• Get help to know what to say. Check your tone, your words, and your demeanor. (Prov 15:1, Eph 4:29)
• Get help to talk together.Another party maybe necessary when talking on your own doesn't lead to a resolution. The party involved is there only to "mediate" the conversation but not to make the decision for the parties involved. (Matt 18:16)
• Get help to decide. If talking with each other or mediation doesn't work, you may need to get someone else to make the resolution for you. Get the help of a parent, teacher, or pastor. (1 Cor 6:1-8, Ex. 18:13-27)

(adopted from The Young Peace Maker by Corlette Sande)

We did a role play about a conflict, and I asked my kids to be 'dad' & 'mom'. They chose the conflict over money, I guess because they've heard it more than the other conflicts we've had (yikes!) However, one thing they noted was the way we argued. They pointed out that we yell and cry (well, maybe I yell and cry LOL!) I confessed to them that we are still learning how to handle conflict too, but I also pointed out that we haven't attacked nor have we called it quits.


It's important for our kids to see how we are not only teaching them these things because we want them to do them. They need to see that we are walking out our faith too because bottom line is that we are all responsible for our own growth and relationship with Christ.


"Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone." Romans 12:18

Don't wake me up, I'm DREAMIN'!

As if my eyes were wide open, the events of the last 5 years flashed in front of me. 2005 was the best year in real estate, and I was able to join in on the party. It was only the year before that I had quit my full-time job from a major telecommunications compnay so I can come home and raise my kids. God was so gracious that I was able to manage both a business and homeschool a 2nd grader. Yet inspite of the good things that are happening, a desire within me stirs. I desire to be free from the stress that tied me down. I was on the phone almost all day, shopping for loans or trying to make sure the lender received all the conditions for my files to close. I felt as though my child taught herself because I could barely get through 30 minutes without having to be on the phone.

It was about this time that I read Robert Kiyosaki's book, Rich Dad, Poor Dad, and I loved the way he differentiated between a business owner and a self-employed individual. I was self-employed, and I wanted freedom. Out of my desire to be free up my time at home, I needed to become a businesses owner. I asked God to enlarge my tent, like He did for Jabez.

My husband and I bought several properties to rent. The plan is to have enough rental properties to make $10,000 in passive income. We started with homes because they were easier to acquire, but eventually, we were going to move into apartment complexes. We would manage them ourselves, with my husband as my handyman. He recalls being a young child collecting cans to put towards owning an apartment complex. We were a united team: I handled the paperwork, and he took care of the physical work.

We went back to the Philippines in December 2005 and stayed there for 6 weeks! Wow! No one took those kinds of vacations! We went to Boracay, visited relatives whom I haven't seen in 15 years, and enjoyed the Christmas and New Year's celebration! If you haven't been to the Philippines, you're missing out! After coming back in January 2006, the real estate market has softened. I was still able to make lots of money that year but not as much as before. I was still thankful, however, because I still made more than what I would have made if I had stayed in the corporate world.

2007 was the worst year of my life. How it turned so quick was not my fault. I was just a victim of the market. My husband got laid off late 2006. In 2007, I made a mere $15,000.

Ouch. My dreams have crashed right in front of my eyes. There were pieces all over the ground like shattered glass, but I didn't have enough strength to muster picking them all up and piecing them together. God could've spared me, but He didn't. There are still many in the industry who are able to support their families. But that doesn't include me.

I needed strength; I needed to heal. How can I still be with my kids without this business? I examined my heart, because I knew that pride came before destruction. I'm clear there. What was it, then, Lord? Why did this happen to us? We didn't live lavishly or foolishly. We tithed! You promised, Lord! Remember... Malachi 3:10?

My dream has now turned into a nightmare.

(to be continued...)